Plans by Britain’s Government to lift the ban on fox hunting has caused international outrage. In Afghanistan, British troops, especially bomber pilots, are highly respected for their sense of sportsmanship and fair play. All this good will is likely to be lost if fox hunting in the UK is legalised.
According to Moore: “hunting is a sickness, a perversion and a danger and should be recognised as such. People who get their amusement from killing defenceless animals can only be suffering from a mental disorder … its detestable that anyone should get their thrills from killing others who ask for nothing other than to remain alive”.
So, it could be bad luck for our heroic supersonic RAF bomber pilots. Next time they go out to flatten an Afghan village full of women and children because somebody said they saw a Taliban rifleman there, they could find themselves being called “sick, mentally disordered, perverts” because the Nation they belong to has legalised fox hunting.
Toady Turnbull, the Australian PM, is the latest Lemming to give his support for a nuclear war with North Korea. The forthcoming war will be Trump’s answer to his flagging popularity in the USA.
Make no mistake, they are talking nuclear war. Toady Turnbull said “all options are on the table” and refused to rule out military action against the recalcitrant nuclear-armed regime. Mike Loose Change Pence came up with a classic when he said “The era of strategic patience is over”, horribly reminiscent of Hitler’s Sept 1938 statement “where the Sudeten German problem is concerned, my patience is at an end.”
Toady Turnbull no doubt recalls the spirit of Gallipoli, where 8,000 Australian troops died fighting an insane campaign against the Turks because a Bosnian anarchist assassinated the Archduke Ferdinand. However, it is to be remembered that no politicians died in the First World War, and Bosnia was prevented from invading Australia.
There seems little doubt if America attacks North Korea there will be a nuclear response. There has been much talk in the press about whether North Korean nuclear missiles could hit the American Fleet or their base in Okinawa. However, it is not the Americans that would suffer badly in a nuclear exchange but their allies in South Korea. Missiles can be intercepted and bombers can be shot down, but the North Koreans have one weapon that can not be stopped. This is nuclear artillery, an old technology that has been about since the 1950s
The Koksan 170 mm Self Propelled Gun (SPG) can fire a nuclear shell to a distance of 500 kilometers. This means that more than half of South Korea will be in range without these SPGs moving across the border. Seoul is only 50 km from the border. The North could flatten Seoul with nuclear shells in a matter of minutes and there would be no defense against it.
Of course, to psychopaths like Kim, Trump and Turnbull the death of a few million Koreans does not matter at all. Trump and Turnbull can console themselves that in the forthcoming nuclear exchange no Western Politicians will be killed, and that’s the important thing isn’t it? Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon and Sir Robert Menzies could all sleep safe in their beds while millions of Vietnamese, tens of thousands of Americans and hundreds of Australians died in the Vietnam war.
The story from the Guardian (22 April):
All options including military action are “on the table” to deal with the threat of North Korean nuclear weapons, Mike Pence has said during a trip to Australia. But the US vice-president stressed he expects China to bring its influence to bear against the regime’s nuclear ambitions.
Pence said three times during a press conference with the Australian prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull, that “all options are on the table” and refused to rule out military action against the recalcitrant nuclear-armed regime.
“While all options are on the table, let me assure you the US will continue to work closely with Australian and our other allies in the region, and with China, to bring economic and diplomatic pressure to bear on the regime in Pyongyang until they abandon their nuclear and ballistic missile program,” Pence said.
“But if China is unable to deal with North Korea, the United States and our allies will.”
Pence’s rhetoric was a continuation of the bombastic line he has run throughout his swing through the Pacific, visiting South Korea, Japan, Indonesia and finally, Australia.
He said a generation of “strategic patience” with the North Korean regime, under Kim Jong-Il and then his son, Kim Jong-un, had failed utterly and the Trump administration was determined to pressure North Korea to stop developing nuclear weapons.
“The era of strategic patience is over,” he reiterated.
North Korea has accused the US of warmongering on the Korean peninsula, saying the Trump administration was creating “a dangerous situation in which a thermonuclear war may break out at any moment”.
North Korea’s deputy UN ambassador Kim In-ryong this week said “if the US dare opt for a military action”, North Korea was “ready to react to any mode of war desired by the US”.
In Australia, Turnbull echoed the vice-president’s position, saying the responsibility for influencing North Korea lay with China, a country holding immense diplomatic and economic leverage over Kim’s regime.
Turnbull said North Korea’s “reckless and dangerous regime puts the peace and stability of our region at risk”.
The joint press conference between Turnbull and Pence was full of the usual lavish bilateral praise that accompanies a US leader’s visit to Australia. Turnbull praised the “Pax Americana” provided by long-standing US interest and intervention in the Pacific.
“And the US understand that they have no stronger, more committed, more loyal partner, ally than Australia.”
Pence said the US had no more steadfast ally than Australia, particularly in conflict, noting that Australia had fought alongside the US in every major war of the last century. “From the Coral Sea to Kandahar our friendship has been forged in the fires of sacrifice.”
After examining YouTube videos of Theresa May, it was confirmed that Sarin gas, or something similar, or methane, or nothing at all, was used in an attack on 10 Downing Street yesterday. The report comes from the UK Biological and Chemical Warfare Research establishment at Grimbledon Down.
Boris Volte-Face Johnson said that there was no doubt that the Labour Party was to blame. He said he had asked permission from the Americans to launch a missile attack against the Labour Party Headquarters in Newcastle. The missile attack will be launched from British Trident submarines. Donald Windbreaker Trump said he did not care what the British did because the Trident missiles do not work anyway.
Grimbledon Down’s Director Treen said that the YouTube video of May’s agonised face shows that she was clearly the victim of a gas attack. Servants at Number Ten had noticed some suspicious characters wearing flat caps who were bringing boxes of Gripe Water in through the back door. Metropolitan police wish to interview these men and have issued an artists impression of one of them.
In an unrelated event a convoy of buses evacuating Labour Party members to Northumberland was blown up as it passed through the Conservative stronghold of Peterborough. The BBC reported that there was no evidence that the Conservative Party was involved and that the Labour Party, for some reason or another, had probably blown up 150 of their own members.
With Trump about to start a nuclear war in the Sea of Japan you would think the Japs would be worried about being incinerated again. But apparently not, they are more concerned about cow meat being imported from the USA.
Mike Loose Change Pence has just arrived in Tokyo to sort the matter out. He is demanding that Japan drop the 38.5% tariff on imports of diseased cow brains from America. The Japanese eat all sorts of weird stuff such as Puffer fish and jellyfish, so we assume that cow brains must also be a delicacy over there.
Pence has a strong bargaining position. If the Japanese do not agree to his terms the Americans will not nuke their competitors in South Korea. Pence himself is immune from mad cow disease. Scientists who have measured his tiny cranium assert that “there is just no room for a brain in there”.
The story from UPI (18 Apr):
U.S. business leaders called for the lowering of tariffs in Japan as U.S. Vice President Mike Pence began trade talks with Japanese officials in Tokyo.
Philip M. Seng, the chief executive of the U.S. Meat Export Federation, told reporters in Tokyo on Tuesday that Japan's tariffs on U.S. beef are "too high," according to NHK.
Seng said the United States and Japan should soon negotiate a bilateral free trade agreement so beef import tariffs are lowered.
The spokesman for the U.S. beef industry pointed out Japan's 38.5 percent tariff on beef is one of the world's highest in major markets.
Japan has a history of restricting U.S. beef imports.
In 2003, the country banned U.S. beef, citing the spread of mad cow disease among livestock. Import restrictions were eased after December 2005 but a ban returned in January 2006.
U.S. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, who has been critical of trade barriers against U.S. exports, has said American beef was "good enough for foreigners to eat" despite the mad cow disease concerns.
Ross, who has not singled out Japan for criticism, has spoken out against barriers to U.S. exports of cars and agricultural products, Bloomberg reported.
A Japanese official has said Tokyo wants to exclude Ross from economic talks this week in order to avoid disputes.
Pence instead will take the lead in trade talks with Japanese Deputy Prime Minister Taro Aso upon the request of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, according to the report.
The vice president arrived in Tokyo after concluding talks in Seoul, where he focused mostly on North Korea's threats.
The Metropolitan Police Special Confectionery Squad will mount a 24 hour guard round Trump to ensure that no chocolate cake is brought anywhere near the President. In addition all cake shops will be closed during the time of Trump’s visit. All cakes suspected of being made of chocolate are currently being impounded.
British Prime Minister, Teresa May, said that Britain welcomes President Trump but that every precaution must be taken to avoid global nuclear war. “We are very much aware that Trump and chocolate cake are volatile substances which if brought together might result in the end of the world”, she told Private Tye. We asked if Trump would be allowed any cake at all. May was adamant “No cake, its just too risky. We will supply him with plenty of blancmange and chocolate ice cream”.
We asked about the danger from suicide cake throwers. “No problem”, answered May “Trump asked to ride in a special carriage, so we have found one with thick glass that will protect him from cake throwing fanatics”.
Britain is mounting a massive intelligence operation in preparation for the Trump visit. The facts were revealed by Willieleaks. GCHQ has 24 hour surveillance of all British citizens and also has access to all the Point Of Sales information from British supermarkets. They have complied a huge watch-list of known cake bakers. Shortly before Trump arrives, the police will round up all the people who are known to have bought cake making materials such as flour and chocolate. They will be sent to special detention sites for water-boarding.
The story from The Times 15 April
Trump demands gold‑plated welcome
President insists on a carriage journey down The Mall to Buckingham Palace
Donald Trump waving from the Queen’s royal carriage is not a scenario many would have foreseen a year ago, but it has become a very real prospect, forcing security services to plan an unprecedented lockdown.
The White House has made clear it regards the carriage procession down the Mall as an essential element of the itinerary for the visit currently planned for the second week of October, according to officials.
Security sources have warned, however, that the procession will require a “monster” security operation, far greater than for any recent state visit.
Barack Obama chose to spare his hosts the task of securing the journey from Horse Guards Parade to Buckingham Palace when he was welcomed by the Queen in 2011. In a slight change of usual protocol President Obama arrived at the palace in an armoured motorcade.
Xi Jinping did stand on ceremony in 2015, although he took the precaution of opting for a closed, rather than open, carriage from the Royal Mews for his ride up the Mall with the Queen.
The security required by the Chinese president will be dwarfed by the operation necessitated for Mr Trump, according to security sources.
The Metropolitan Police was already gearing up for the biggest public order operation in several years, with tens of thousands of people expected to descend on the area to protest. Senior police are already grappling with how to achieve a balance between Mr Trump’s security and allowing the public’s right to demonstrate.
One source said that Mr Trump’s decision to opt for the carriage, rather than the bullet and bomb-proof car that was used by his predecessor presented a range of fresh headaches.
The source said: “The vehicle which carries the president of the United States is a spectacular vehicle. It is designed to withstand a massive attack like a low-level rocket grenade. If he’s in that vehicle he is incredibly well protected and on top of that it can travel at enormous speed. If he is in a golden coach being dragged up the Mall by a couple of horses, the risk factor is dramatically increased.
“There may well be protections in that coach such as bulletproof glass, but they are limited. In particular it is very flimsy.
“It would not be able to put up much resistance in the face of a rocket propelled grenade or high-powered ammunition. Armour-piercing rounds would make a very bad show of things.”
One Whitehall source said that the option of using Windsor was floated at an early planning meeting but rejected on security grounds. “It looked like we’d have to close the M25.”
Mr Trump’s team are also weighing the option of a Scottish element to the visit with a trip to Balmoral one possibility. The Aberdeenshire estate would be far easier to secure than any of the Queen’s other properties.
They sound kind of similar, especially to a President who gets confused between Iraq and Syria when ordering a strike. North Korea’s Nuchon Ni is the closest airbase to South Korea. Nagasaki is the Japanese city that was nuked by the Americans in WW2. There is also the possibility of Hiroshima being mistaken for Hwangsuwon airbase.
None of this seems to bother the Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe. Shinzo, who always looks like he just got off the Train to Busan, seems happy with US nuclear fallout. The Japanese have got used to it after two nuclear bombs and an exploding General Electric nuclear power plant at Fukushima. Genetic birth defects are something you learn to live with and, as Shinzo says, “two heads are better than one”.
South Korea has, of course, not reacted to Trump’s move into the East China Sea because its President and most of the Government are in jail on corruption charges. In Thailand everybody will spend the next three days throwing water over each other. This is a decontamination drill in case a cloud of fallout drifts south from the nuclear exchange around Korea.
The full chocolate cake Iraq/Syria story from RT (13 April):
Iraq or Syria? Trump recalls dessert perfectly, forgets who he bombed & internet erupts
US President Donald Trump revealed he informed Chinese Premier Xi Jinping about the US air strike on a Syrian military base as the pair ate "the most beautiful" chocolate cake. He then mixed up Syria and Iraq – and the internet had a meltdown.
Trump was speaking with Fox Business about the bizarre exchange with Chinese leader during a summit at his Mar-a-Lago estate.
“We had finished dinner, we’re now having dessert,” Trump began. “And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen and President Xi was enjoying it.”
“We’ve just fired 59 missiles, all of which hit by the way, unbelievable, from hundreds of miles away, it’s brilliant, it’s genius, what we have in terms of technology no-one can come close to competing,” he continued.
“So I said, we’ve just launched 59 missiles, heading to Iraq,” said the President, seemingly oblivious to his mistake.
“Heading to Syria,” host Maria Bartiromo interjected. “Yes,” Trump replied, “heading toward Syria.”
As the fleet headed by the USS Zombie Apocalypse heads for North Korea, Private Tye has gained insight into the Trumps’ plans for Armageddon. All was revealed during a talk Trump had with his son Barron.
Barron: I thought we were going to war with Russia.
Trump: We were, but when Mr Tillerson went to Moscow he found out the Russians have hundreds of nuclear missiles capable of hitting America.
Barron: So, they could blow up Trump Tower?
Trump: That’s right.
Barron: So, why are we going to war with North Korea?
Trump: We have to go to war with somebody, and Korean missiles can not reach Trump Tower.
Barron: I do not understand.
Trump: When I fired 50 cruise missiles at a Syrian airbase, my popularity went up. When I start a nuclear war I’ll be the most popular person in America.
Barron: And we’ll all be safe?
Trump: We will, the American bases in South Korea will be incinerated, Okinawa also, probably.
Barron: Isn’t that a problem?
Trump: No it will just be more contracts for our friends at Lockheed Martin, Boeing and Northrop Grumman. And that means more jobs.
Barron: What about the South Korean people?
Trump: They’ll be toast.
Barron: And that’s good?
Trump. Of course, they will not be able to make the Samsung Galaxy anymore. That means that the Apple iPhone will be the only tablet phone on the market. America will be great again.
Barron: I thought the iPhone was made in China.
Trump. Shut up kid or you’ll get a belt round the ear.
Google Search results for “Harry Potter rides a broomstick” will soon be marked as “Fake News”. The Internet giant is being transformed from a search engine into a web commentary, content and indexing service.
Private Tye talked to Rex Tillerson about the new Google. “Trump has come round to Clinton’s point of view and has adopted the Neocon policy of confrontation with Russia and endless war. So, we now have the main stream media on our side. However, its a different story with the social media where some people think the Syria business is a set up like the Bush and Blair weapons of mass destruction. So, Google is organising a project called “CrossCheck” which will enable newsrooms in the main stream media to identify fake news in Google search results”. Private Tye asked if these newsrooms where the ones Trump accused of putting out fake news earlier in the year. Tillerson made the position clear “Of course not, he never said that. Its fake news to say that Trump ever accused the main stream media of putting out fake news.”
The test of the new Google system will come during the French election where there has been a lot of fake news about Le Pen’s popularity. “Le Pen is talking about making France great again and becoming friends with Russia, so anything said in her favour must be fake news.” said Tillerson.
The report from CNN (which never put out fake news, and Trump never said they did):
Google and Facebook are partnering with journalists to help prevent fake news stories from spreading during France's presidential election.
Google News Lab and the non-profit First Draft News have launched a verification project called "CrossCheck" that will help French newsrooms identify and quickly debunk hoaxes, rumors and other false claims.
At least 17 major news organizations are taking part in the project, including Le Monde, Agence France-Presse (AFP), Liberation, BuzzFeed and France Medias Monde, which manages Radio France Internationale and TV station France 24.
Google (GOOGL, Tech30) and Facebook (FB, Tech30) will provide the journalists with tools to help identify misleading content. Google Trends and CrowdTangle, a Facebook tool that monitors social networks, will be used to scan for problematic stories.
Google will also train students from France's leading journalism schools in advanced search techniques that can be used to identify fake news.
The students will add context to each false claim and create a live feed of shareable report cards on the CrossCheck website. The feed will be overseen by the Agence-France Presse.
Clinton said “I really think we should take out [Assad’s] airfields” and a few hours later Trump does it with cruise missile strikes. Clinton was attending the “Women for Global Nuclear War Summit” in New York when she gave her instructions to Trump through an interview with the New York Times.
There was jubilation at the Democratic Party headquarters. Ms Thumper Bellicose, the spokesperson for the Democrats, said “We have now brought Trump into line. It took less then four months and all it needed was unfounded rumors that he was a Russian spy and a YouTube video. We can all look forward to a bright future of endless regime change and nonstop war.”
Champagne corks were popping at Lockheed Martin, Boeing and Northrop Grumman as stock in “Defense” industries surged on the New York Stock Exchange. Lockheed spokesman, Mr Cluster Bombe, told us “We were really worried at the beginning of the year. Now things are back to normal, but its better than that, we are increasing production fivefold - ready for the war with Russia.”
Happiest of all were the members of the Al-Nusra Front. Their leader, Abu Mohammad al-Beheader, said that “the Syrian army had just about got us beat, but, after the US cruise missile attack, we have started a new offensive. We will celebrate tomorrow by cutting off some Christian heads. If there are any left.” added a grinning Abu.
Trump, however, is adamant there is one (and only one) election promise that he will keep. That is full employment. “Our army will need more men.” Said Trump “We will soon be starting a military intervention in Yemen to help our Saudi friends. More American soldiers will be needed to get their limbs blown off by IEDs (after which they can join America’s homeless, who do not count as unemployed).” Trump emphasized that this was just the start. “The Second World War brought an end to the Great Depression. Our forthcoming war with Russia will end all our economic problems. The only effective industry left in the USA is the Defense Industry. I see now that we have to do everything we can to support it.”
Trump reiterated his determination to rid the world of weapons of mass destruction. “These weapons can be found in Syria, but also in North Korea, Pakistan, Russia, India, Israel, France, Britain and the USA.” Said Trump, “We will attack all these countries eventually.”
From Reuters (6 Apr, 10.38 EDT)
Hillary Clinton calls for U.S. to bomb Syrian air fields
In her first interview since her stunning presidential election defeat by Republican rival Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton on Thursday called for the United States to bomb Syrian air fields.
Clinton, in an interview at the Women in the World Summit in New York, also called Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election a theft more damaging than Watergate.
Asked whether she now believes that failing to take a tougher stand against Syria was her worst foreign policy mistake as secretary of state under President Barack Obama, Clinton said she favored more aggressive action against Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"I think we should have been more willing to confront Assad," Clinton said in the interview, conducted by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof.
"I really believe we should have and still should take out his air fields and prevent him from being able to use them to bomb innocent people and drop sarin gas on them."
Clinton noted that she had advocated for a no-fly zone in Syria after leaving government, something that Obama opposed.
Her remarks came two days after a poison gas attack in Syria that killed at least 70 people, many of them children. The U.S. government believes the chemical agent sarin was used in the attack. The United States and other Western countries blamed Assad's armed forces for the worst chemical attack in Syria in more than four years.
The books in Oxford’s ancient Bodleian library are all to be burnt because they are politically incorrect and the texts contain gender insensitive words. The Oxford Chancellor, Chris Patton, said that they “had hoped to weed out the offensive books but found that almost all of them were offensive to somebody or other, so we are just going to burn them all”.
Oxford’s move into the politically correct 21st century started last year when the University began replacing the portraits of the old white men that built the University with pictures of gays, females and blacks who have little or no connection to the place.
Inspiration for the Oxford reforms has come from, that most prestigious of all learning institutions, the University of Hull. In Hull lecturers are pleased to publicize the fact that they mark students down for using words like “mankind” or “man-made”.
The problem has been that student essays, dissertations and PhD theses are all copied out in the University library where the books are full of these politically incorrect terms. “We really cannot expect students to change words like Chairman to Chairperson when copying out their dissertations. It would be too much work, and most of them do not have the intellectual ability to make these changes.” said Patton, adding “Oh shit! I just used the word Chairman.”
We asked Patton how the students will produce written work when they have no library books to plagiarize. “Its simple” said Patton “they will just use the American system. American students have never had the time to go to the library. They are too busy playing football, getting drunk and date raping college girls. Oh sorry, that is sexist, what I meant to say is: they are too busy learning to become cheerleaders, getting drunk and having sex with their Professors”. So, Americans have always had their essays and dissertations ghosted”. Our students can do the same”.
“With Internet technology this is easy.” continued Patton, “You just sign up to a freelancing platform (like Upwork) describe the dissertation you want written and you’ll have hundreds of freelancers offering to do the job for you. Most of these are housewives in Pakistan. We all know that the ability of a Pakistani housewife to write good English and understand science and the arts is far superior to that of an Oxford student. Not only this, they will work for a pittance. They are the sweat shop slaves of Academia, the American University system could not function without them.”
We thought that some of the Professors might be disappointed about the destruction of the library, so we talked to William “Woolly” Braindead, Oxford’s Emeritus Professor of Preherstoric Herstory. However, Prof Braindead was very enthusiastic “It gives us the opportunity to write a completely new, politically correct, herstory of the world. Did you know that Moses was a woman, and that Helen of Troy was black?”, he giggled, “then you will just have to buy my new book, when I’ve finished having it ghosted.”
The question remains about what to do with the Bodleian buildings, especially the Radcliffe Camera. As they were built by white men, there is a consensus that they should be torn down and replaced by a modern glass and steel building. The new building will contain 500 Kindle readers which will be permanently locked to the Politically Correct Newspeak Dictionary and to Upwork.
The new Oxford will be a place where students can explore gender issues and learn to fulfill themselves as androgynous entities. People who want to find a cure for cancer or invent a more efficient solar cell should go somewhere else.
One wonders about the future of Chris Patton. He is a white man, married with three children and rumored to be a practicing heterosexual. Surely, it is just a matter of time before he is replaced by somebody who is more politically correct.