Its official, in the event of a North Korean Invasion, British Soldiers have been instructed to lay down and surrender. Field Marshall Sir Nigel Blithering-Idiot said “I can not expect my men to fight against this sort of thing”. An imminent Korean invasion has been determined by GCHQ and the CIA using the “I.Con” condom surveillance device.
The North Korea army will march through China, Russia, Belarus, Poland, Germany and into France. From there they will charge through the Channel tunnel. “We can expect a first wave of at least 100,000 screaming stormtroopers armed with swords and black panties”, Sir Nigel told Private Tye. “There is no way our boys can stand up to that.”
David Cameron warned against this. He commissioned a new fleet of submarines which could be used to blow up the channel tunnel, unfortunately, these will not be ready in time and the old submarines don’t work.
Private Tye asked if the North Korean army could be stopped on its line of March. Sir Nigel was pessimistic. “The Chinese, Russians and Belorussians will not care. The Poles will think they are demonstrating Neo-Nazis. The Germans will think they are Syrian migrants. The French will be too busy fighting among themselves to notice.
Will we at least know when it is going to happen? Private Tye asked. Sir Nigel said we could be sure of that, thanks to condom surveillance. “We will receive strong signals when the Koreans march through China. When they enter Russia the signals will drop to virtually nothing. They will pick up again when the Army enters Germany and will reach “Bunny Rabbit pitch” when they get into France.
It seems that Boris Johnson is fixated on Nukes and ignores the threat from land forces, Reuters (6 March):
UK urges North Korea to stop 'provocative actions' after missile launches
British foreign minister Boris Johnson condemned North Korea's firing of four ballistic missiles into the sea off northwest Japan, saying such "provocative actions" were a threat to international peace and security.
The missile launches have angered South Korea and Japan, days after North Korea promised retaliation over U.S.-South Korea military drills it sees as a preparation for war.
"The UK firmly condemns North Korea's latest ballistic missile launches," Johnson said in a statement on the government's website. He added that Britain, which currently holds the presidency of the United Nations Security Council, was working with international partners over the launches.
"We urge North Korea to stop its provocative actions, which threaten international peace and security," he said.