CNN has hired a team of Russian Hackers who have discovered that North Korea’s stockpiles of VX are not as big as Young’un thinks. In fact, they might be less than Iraq’s Weapons of Mass Destruction.
We know from the Washington Post that the assassination of Kim’s brother was just a test (he got the idea from season 5 of Showtime’s Homeland). Kim plans to destroy the entire South Korean Government (who are currently confined to small prison cells on corruption charges) with VX. He will then march his million man army south. Next he will go on to Great Britain, where everybody has ignored David Cameron’s warning of a Korean invasion, and where the nuclear submarines don’t work.
However, Kim’s Government suffers from “Stalin Syndrome” where Apparatchiks are terrified of saying anything the boss does not want to hear. His chemists have probably lied to him about the size of the stockpiles.
Will the VX shortage put an end to Kim’s plans? Will Britain be safe? We doubt it. We say “send the Strike Back team back in”. One American and one Brit can deal with the North Korean Army easily.
The Bizarre saga from Asian Correspondent (2 March):
NORTH KOREA said on Wednesday the claim that VX nerve agent was used to kill one of its citizens in Malaysia was “absurd” and lacked scientific basis, calling it an assertion made by the United States and South Korea to tarnish the North’s image.
Last week, Malaysian police said VX nerve agent, a chemical classified by the United Nations as a weapon of mass destruction, was used to kill Kim Jong Nam, estranged half-brother of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, last month.
South Korean and U.S. officials have said they believe North Korea is responsible for the death.
On Wednesday, a Malaysian court charged two women – an Indonesian and a Vietnamese – with the assassination. They are believed to have applied the super-toxic nerve agent that killed Jong Nam in minutes.
Siti Aishah, a 25-year-old mother of one from Jakarta, and Doan Thi Huong, 28, from rural northern Vietnam, could be hanged if they are convicted for the killing that took place at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on Feb 13.
The security camera footage, which has been released in the media, showed the two women approaching Jong Nam at the airport departure hall and rubbing a cloth over his face. The victim was seen stumbling into a clinic and died within 20 minutes of the assault.
Malaysian authorities have also arrested one North Korean and named at least four other suspects who were said to have fled to Pyongyang after the attack.
According to the AFP (via the Straits Times), North Korea’s official KCNA news agency identified the victim only as Kim Chol, the name in the passport with which Jong Nam was travelling.
KCNA quoted unidentified experts as saying it was “the height of absurdity to claim that the person who applied VX, a substance fatal to the life even in case of inhalation of a tiny amount of it or its touch of skin, was left unaffected and the person to whom it was applied met a death.”
As speculation and consipiracy theories mount over North Korea’s involvement in the cloak and dagger style killing of Jong Nam, KCNA offered a different account of what transpired, claiming that the two women had instead visited South Korea several times in the past.
The news agency reported it was “highly possible” that Seoul allowed them to carry whatever substance was used to kill Jong Nam.
The United States, KCNA also claimed, was providing South Korea with “all kinds of chemical weapons”.
“This being a hard fact, the US and the South Korean authorities are kicking up an anti-DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea) smear campaign, groundlessly pulling it up,” it said.
The Indonesian woman, Siti Aishah, was detained a day after Huong. Indonesian diplomats said Aishah claimed she had been paid around US$90 for her role in what she thought was a prank for reality TV.
Police have said that the women knew what they were doing when they attacked Kim Jong Nam and were instructed to wash their hands afterwards. But regardless of whether they did or did not know of the murder plot, both appear to have been viewed as expendable by whoever gave them the VX.
Police also said Aishah fell sick and was vomiting repeatedly while in custody, possibly as a side-effect of VX, though Indonesian embassy officials have subsequently said she is in good health.
Malaysia’s investigation into the killing has sparked diplomatic tension with North Korea, and on Tuesday a high-ranking delegation arrived in Kuala Lumpur from Pyongyang in a bid to claim Jong Nam’s body and smooth ties.
The Malaysian government, however, has insisted that Jong Nam’s body can only be claimed by his next-of-kin, in line with the country’s laws.