Just when you were beginning to think that all young men in Thailand are idle, soft good-for-nothings, something happens that restores your faith in the younger generation. Three days ago hundreds of young Thai men sat on their backsides overnight in Siam Square in order to be at the front of the line when the Addhisarse NMD R1 (a shoe) went on sale. This was an epic adventure reminiscent of Jason's search for the golden fleece, a towering achievement that has brought forth words of praise from all over the globe.
From the Vatican the Pope sent a message praising the Addhisarse heroes for “a truly selfish and pointless activity that is an inspiration to people everywhere”. He has mentioned the heroes, and their shoes, in his prayers.
The Dalai Lama was soon to follow. He said that by becoming completely self absorbed, the heroes were well on the way to enlightenment. He added that the path to Nirvana cannot be traveled without a pair of good shoes.
Banksie Moon of League of Nations was delighted that, in a world being torn apart by civil strife, Thai youth was doing something really positive to distract people from the plight of their fellow men. The heroes have shown us that, with a pair of fashionable shoes, we can just walk away from these problems.
The Gauliter of Ban-cock announced that the Metropolitan Authority would be setting up a permanent monument to the Addhisarse heroes in Siam Square. The monument will be inscribed with the words “Least we forget”. These days, the Gauliter said, people forget too quickly , we want this achievement, and the NMD R1, to be remembered for generations to come. Funds to build the monument will be diverted from the drought relief fund, he added. Various charities such as Spoil the Children and Oxcon have also offered to help fund the monument.
In breaking news, Private Tye has just heard that Nitipong L., the first Thai to buy the NMD R1, has been nominated for this year's Nobel Prize for Idiocy. We wish him the best of luck with that.
The importance of this new shoe can not be underestimated. A paper in the Scientific American stated that the NMD R1 is perfectly designed for parading through shopping malls and sitting in coffee shops. The paper concluded that it is a breakthrough in transportation technology not seen since Stephenson's Rocket or the Ford Model T.
Shoeponce Monthly had the following to say about the Addhisarse NMD R1: “Perfect to sit in a coffee shop while you tell all your friend on Twitter how you have just bought a pair of NMD R1s and are wearing them in the Sludge coffee shop. Then you can take a footsie (a footsie is like a selfie, but its just your foot) and send it to all your friend by Instagram. Then you can stand up and walk (if you are wearing the NMD R1 this is going to be easier than you think) over to the shoe shop and buy a pair of the old Addhisarse Boston Super sneakers, put them on and go to the Cabin Boy coffee shop, tell all your friend on Twitter, take another footsie, take off the Boston Supers, put the NMD R1 back on, tell all your friend on Twitter, take another footsie….”