A fiendish plot to take over the nations toilets has been thwarted by the prompt action of government troops. The attempted coup d'crapper was brought to a halt when soldiers confiscated a stock pile of illegal toilet bowls from the house of a “Poor Thai” party leader. Authorities were alerted to the problem when they noticed that “Poor Thai” (Red Shirt) pinup girls with red toilet bowls had been posting selfies on the social media.
These small plastic bowls are used to hold the water that Thais use instead of toilet paper. The confiscated red bowls are printed with a message from the billionaire “Poor Thai” leader who lives in the rich man paradise of Dubai. The problem comes to the head because of the upcoming Songkran water throwing festival. The country is in the grip of the worse drought ever (because successive governments during the last twenty years have all turned a blind eye to deforestation). This means that tap water may be unavailable for Songkran, and bog water will have to be used instead.
Control of the countries lavatories is, therefore, of vital strategic importance. Songkran could see a flair up of conflict between the Poor Thai Red Shirts and their opposition Yellow shirts. If the Red Shirts gain control of the countries lavatories, the Yellow Shirts could end up covered in ...