As the referendum on the new Constitution approaches, the Electoral Commission has brought out a huge steel box. Nobody knows what it is for, but most fear the worst.
Surrounded by dancing Ramayana figures, the massive six by ten metre box has led to wild speculation amongst terrified villagers. Private Tye asked some of them what they thought it was for.
Sillyrat Dum (a somtam vendor): I think it is for people who don't vote. If you don't put a bit of paper in the little box, the Hanumans will come to get you and put you in the big box.
Somchai Spankem (a primary school teacher): Its for saboteurs, like the Mickey Mouse gang of schoolgirls and macaques. Those dancers will deal with them. They can bend over and charge like a Spanish bull. No schoolgirl wants to find herself impaled on the pointy end of a Chor Chadah. The dancers and Hanumans will soon round them up and herd them into the box.
Deang Deforester (a farmer): Yes, its for saboteurs, but its a trap not a pen. Just before school is out someone will prop open the lid with a stick with a piece of string attached to it. The bottom of the box will be lined with voter registration lists, a trail of pink paper will lead into the box. The schoolgirls and monkeys will follow the paper, jump into the box and start tearing up the lists. At this point the string will be pulled, the lid will come crashing down and the saboteurs will be trapped. This works well well, I have used the method hundreds of times to catch endangered species in the National Forests.
Meenee Gree-ed (a money lender): Its for those who vote “no”. There will not be many of them. Hardly anybody will bother to vote, nobody has read it, and we are not getting paid to vote.
Yasathon Yellowshirt (a lion tamer): Its for Godzilla the redshirt. That's why its made of steel. Godzilla is very strong and breaths fire. They are going to put him in the box and parade him about on voting day.
So, Private Tye does not know what the box is for, but its obviously a very good idea.
The real (but very brief) story from Khaosod:
The Election Commission today unveiled a giant, 5.99M x 9.99M ballot box in Buriram to get people excited about Sunday's charter referendum.