Police armed with fully automatic assault rifles and rocket propelled grenades have arrested 30 tourists on Puke-i-yaw beach for not carrying their passports. They were immediately loaded into a suffocation truck and taken to Gulagia Police station.
Those arrested included Sid Bonkers from Leeds. He was carrying his passport tucked into his speedos but was arrested anyway. Police claimed that his entry stamps had been destroyed by salt water. Another arrested Brit was found to be wanted by British police for not paying his television license. He was immediately water-boarded, manacled, hooded and taken away for extraordinary rendition.
An Australian know simply as “Bruce” had no passport at all. He claimed that he took it to the beach but left it with his towel and stuff on the sand while he went for a swim. He thinks it was stolen by spiteful tranny after he refused her offer of a 50 baht BJ.
The remaining prisoners claim they had left their passports in their hotel.
The police action got the support of local expatriate residents who crowded round the Gulagia police station shouting “hanging is too good for them” and “they should be shot on sight”. Nerdy Braindead, the spokesman for the Puke-i-yaw foreign residents association, said that they were fully in favour of the police action. He said that Puke-i-yaw has a fine community of ex-pat alcoholics, drug addicts and pedophiles; and that their reputation was being ruined a few criminal and degenerate sea bathers and bridge players.
Poophan Plod, head of the anti-tourist police, said visitors to the country are welcome but they should behave appropriately. They should carry their passports at all times, they should dress properly, they should not speak unless spoken to, and that they should spend their time looking at the nation's deserted temples and dried-up waterfalls.