As the referendum on the new Constitution approaches, the Electoral Commission has brought out a huge steel box. Nobody knows what it is for, but most fear the worst. Surrounded by dancing Ramayana figures, the massive six by ten metre box has led to wild speculation amongst terrified villagers. Private Tye asked some of them what they thought it was for. Sillyrat Dum (a somtam vendor): I think it is for people who don't vote. If you don't put a bit of paper in the little box, the Hanumans will come to get you and put you in the big box. Somchai Spankem (a primary school teacher): Its for saboteurs, like the Mickey Mouse gang of schoolgirls and macaques. Those dancers will deal with them. They can bend over and charge like a Spanish bull. No schoolgirl wants to find herself impaled on the pointy end of a Chor Chadah. The dancers and Hanumans will soon round them up and herd them into the box. Deang Deforester (a farmer): Yes, its for saboteurs, but its a trap not a pen. Just before school is out someone will prop open the lid with a stick with a piece of string attached to it. The bottom of the box will be lined with voter registration lists, a trail of pink paper will lead into the box. The schoolgirls and monkeys will follow the paper, jump into the box and start tearing up the lists. At this point the string will be pulled, the lid will come crashing down and the saboteurs will be trapped. This works well well, I have used the method hundreds of times to catch endangered species in the National Forests. Meenee Gree-ed (a money lender): Its for those who vote “no”. There will not be many of them. Hardly anybody will bother to vote, nobody has read it, and we are not getting paid to vote. Yasathon Yellowshirt (a lion tamer): Its for Godzilla the redshirt. That's why its made of steel. Godzilla is very strong and breaths fire. They are going to put him in the box and parade him about on voting day. So, Private Tye does not know what the box is for, but its obviously a very good idea. The real (but very brief) story from Khaosod: The Election Commission today unveiled a giant, 5.99M x 9.99M ballot box in Buriram to get people excited about Sunday's charter referendum.
0 Comments
Hoping to encourage voting in the forthcoming Constitutional Referendum, the Thai Government has been distributing picture books explaining why people people should vote “yes”. The booklets have been sent to schools for the benefit of teachers most of whom can not read Thai or English.
A spokesman for the Ministry of Education explained: “The salaries for teachers in Thailand are so low that nobody who can read will take on the job. Any Thai that can read and write will get paid much more working at a 7-11 or as a petrol pump attendant. We are, therefore, forced to hire illiterates.” Copies of the booklets are also being given to young students so that they explain the referendum to their parents. The new constitution is 137 pages long and most Thai parents are incapable of reading anything longer than a twitter post or a text message with lots of stickers. Also, the Ministry of Health has warned that anyone reading the Constitution itself, will die of boredom. Private Tye agrees that a picture book is the best way to explained the fundamental legal document of any Nation State. The real story from Khaosod: Schoolkids in Korat are given booklets Friday urging their parents to vote in the Aug. 7 referendum. And more from Khaosod: To understand how it is all supposed to go down Sunday, we asked two people who should know best, Election Commissioner Somchai Srisutthiyakorn and Wanchai Jakikusol, who runs the commission department responsible for the voting logistics... The Election Commission only has 2,000 staff, so virtually all polling station workers will be a mix of paid and appointed volunteers, mostly drawn from local administrators under the Interior Ministry and teachers from the Education Ministry. There will be two security guards at each polling station and at least one of the two will be a police officer, Wanchai said. One may be a military officer if necessary. The two insist the military under the command of the junta will not be allowed inside the polling stations. “They have nothing to do with it. They have no duties inside, and they will be outside the stations,” commissioner Somchai added. Somchai shrugged off the possibility of the junta sending soldiers inside polling stations and hypothetically compromising the vote counting or creating a climate of intimidation during the vote. “That’s too imaginative,” he said, adding that the counting method will be no different from other elections organized by the EC in the past. Wanchai was more forthcoming about the possibility of a “military intervention” at the polling stations and beyond, however. “[The junta] has no right. They won’t be let inside. But I don’t know if [junta leader Gen. Prayuth Chan-ocha] will use Article 44 or not?” he said, referring to the absolute power Prayuth granted to himself, ex officio, after seizing power in 2014. “Well, they have taken over the country and they can do whatever they like… but we won’t let them stand inside,” Wanchai said. Somchai swears the junta cannot tell him what to do and he will try to make sure the counting will be fair and transparent. “I don’t know if they can point a finger and tell someone to do this and that or not. But they can’t point a finger to me and tell me what to do,” said Somchai. This colorful festival, in which copies of the old constitution are put on little rafts and floated off down rivers throughout the country, is popular with everybody and brings in thousands of tourists. Throughout Thailand school children and adults are now preparing these rafts, called Kratongs, and decorating them with flowers, candles and incense sticks. The ceremony is believed to take away, not only the old constitution, but all the sins that went with it.
Since 1932, Constitution Day occurs every four or five years. Whenever a new Government comes to power they always want a new constitution. A Government is established by massive vote buying, renting a mob to occupy the center of Bangkok or by a military coup d'etat. Either way, the new Government needs a huge document to show that it is legitimate. The document is hotly debated by shills on Reddit, newspaper columnists and murderous academics (who are trying to gain favor with the current Government or with the lurking opposition) and ignored by everybody else (because in a few years there will be another one). This year the celebration may be disrupted by acts of terrorism perpetrated by the Minnie Mouse gang of schoolgirls and monkeys. Constitution Day will be on 7 August, so where is the best place to see the celebrations? Stay away from areas that have schools teaching young girls and above all avoid places habituated by monkeys. On no account go to Lopburi. The real story from Coconuts Bangkok: International governments still have their eyes on Thailand and haven’t forgotten the country’s history of coups, political tensions and demonstrations. Though very little is happening with regards to the referendum yet, there is international concern that the situation could turn dangerous. Yesterday, the UK Government updated their online travel advice for citizens considering travel to Thailand due to the upcoming referendum. The guide advises citizens of the UK that, “A referendum on the Thai constitution is due to take place on Aug. 7, 2016. Political tensions are likely to increase leading up to, and during the polls. You should avoid political gatherings and monitor the advice of local authorities and local media. Certain restrictions, such as on the sale of alcohol, may be imposed at this time. You should observe local laws at all times.” The warning goes on to explain the 2014 coup and the military government in place as well as the interim constitution that gives Prayuth, “wide powers to enforce law and order, and restrictions on freedom of assembly and expression.” The warning goes on to note that, “Before the military coup there were large-scale demonstrations and protests in Bangkok and other cities. Some of these were violent. You should avoid any protests, political gatherings, demonstrations and marches.” They also say, “A number of media outlets have been taken off air and some internet sites remain blocked. It’s illegal to criticize the coup and you should be wary of making political statements in public. You should monitor local news and social media for developments.” Geez. When they lay it out like that the situation seems much more serious than it does in our everyday lives. Ms Samut Prakarn has been surrounded in scandal since her birth certificate was discovered. The document clearly states “sex: female”. In country which prides itself on having the best looking transsexuals in the world, this news was shocking. Worst was to follow when it emerged that her breasts are real (100% organic) rather than the implants that Thailand's plastic surgeons pride themselves on.
Medical tourism accounts for 50% of Thailand's GNP. Most of these tourists are either women wanting breast implants or men wanting a sex change operation (plus breast implants). Sirichai Slasher, the head of the Thai Cosmetic Surgeons Association, spoke to Private Tye. He said that although it was technically possible for a Thai women to grow large breasts naturally, this never happened in reality. Ms Samut must be considered a freak of nature, he maintained adamantly. Organizers of the pageant claim that they had no idea that her breasts were real. As to her not being a transsexual, they claim that the pageant is open to both but that they never expected a genetic woman to win. Mr Suay Mak winner of the Miss Tiffany Universe (which is only open to transsexuals) pageant complained that the result was unfair and that Miss Tiffany was always the most beautiful girl in Thailand. Miss Tiffany Universe is the only real Miss Universe in Thailand, this other pageant should be stopped, he said. The Real Story from Coconuts Bangkok: Pageant fans are pissed that top model was not crowned Miss Universe Thailand Thai pageant fans have expressed their dismay on social media after the anticipated beauty contest did not crown Thai top model Kusuma “Kung” Chawdon as the new Miss Universe Thailand on Saturday night. Much like the Philippines, rooting for beauty pageants is a favorite pastime in Thailand, and things got ugly when the committee announced Chalita “Namtan” Suansane, 21, a science student from Samut Prakarn, as the new Miss Universe. Kusuma, who people said performed well in the contest, did not even make it to the top five. The model is signed with Wilhelmina New York and works mostly in the U.S. She has also been featured in campaigns for domestic designer brands such as Issue, TheOddyssee and CPS. Over the weekend, unhappy hardcore pageant fans flocked to leave comments on the official Facebook page of Miss Universe Thailand. Many demanded a press conference on why Kusuma was not crowned the most beautiful girl in the kingdom. "I give up my respect for this pageant contest. You hurt the feelings of all pageant fans around the world. People around the world think Kung deserves the title, but you ditched her! You have to issue a statement! Why did Kung not make it to top five? All pageant fans are ready to throw a bomb at you," Tararat Brown said. The most disturbing thing about the comment was not Tararat speaking for pageant fans “around the world,” or his casual bomb threat, but the fact this is the top comment that has over 200 likes. "I feel sorry for Kusuma "Kung" Chawdon. The judges were blind. You need to change the whole panel. RIP," Alisa Martini commented. Some people said the situation reminded them of the pageant drama in 2014 where the winner Weluree “Fai” Disayabut was bullied online for being "fat" to the point she became an internet meme, forcing her to give up the title. Just like a common girl, our 2016 winner has always dreamed of being a beauty queen, following her mom's footstep who also competed in pageants. Chalita told Kapook Miss Universe Thailand was her first pageant contest to compete and that she prepared for it by learning to talk and smile in order to improve her personality. She also had to lose weight. Chalita will be competing in the global Miss Universe contest, which is rumored to be hosted in Manila. So, good luck. Yesterday Chalita also posted a photo she took with Kusuma to prove the two are no rivals. Chlita also wrote she will do her best to complete both of their dreams. |
Get the
Private Tye Facebook & Twitter Feeds Archives
April 2017
Categories |