The League of Nations Forestry Exploitation Department (FED) has become concerned that Myus Kamoeyus (commonly known as “the illegal logger”) may soon become extinct in South-East Asia. The Myus Kamoeyus tends to be a shy creature but Private Tye managed to take this rare photograph of one two years ago.
The Myus used to eat only teak but more recently they have adapted to eating all hard woods. Previously, they could only be found down side roads and forest tracks. Now they can be spotted near main roads and human settlements. Wildlife enthusiasts are warned that the Myus is extreamely dangerous and will not hesitate to attack humans. It is particularly vicious if photographed while it is eating. The Myus is easy to locate due to their loud noise, a Brum, Brum, Bhurrr... sound which can be heard kilometers away. However, they have a maneuver, known as the “kickback” which renders natural predators, such as Forestry Officials, deaf.
FED told Private Tye that the Myus is critically endangered because there are simply no hardwoods left in South-East Asia. Apparently their habitat has been destroyed by other animals. In Indonesia by Parmolia Plantationus (the illegal palm oil planter) and in Thailand by Maizus Growus (the illegal corn grower).
There is also concern that animals that live in symbiosis with the Myus may also face extinction. For example the FED employs a small army of hacks to write 300 page reports (which nobody ever reads) about the Myus. However, Private Tye was assured that this is not the case. No environmental factor will ever stop the FED from producing vast number of reports that nobody ever reads, we were told.