Dear Dr Shipman, My name is Arnt Aye So Twee and I am the most wonderful person in Myanmar. My job is to defend Burma against the Rohingya. Recently, I have started to look like a wicked old hag. Is there a treatment for this?
Dear Arnt Aye, it is obvious that you have Dorian Gray Syndrome. This is caused by pretending to be a humanist while turning a blind eye to genocide. You will find that children are horrified at the sight of you. Then, adults will start to turn away when you come near. Finally, you will even scare away the multi-national industrialists and bankers that want to buy Burma from you. But there is a solution. You remember the story of Sleeping Beauty? She never aged when she was asleep. Drop round to my surgery any time, and I will be happy to put you to sleep.