No turkey this year. Looks like we are getting spam instead.
Yes, Private Tye got its first bit of spam today. A Ukrainian Wedding Dress company has spammed Dr Shipman's column. After reading the post about Euthanasia by the the world's leading serial killer, you can follow the link and choose a wedding dress. Come to think of it, this would look good on Petro Poroshenko, another mass murderer.
Pillock of the year goes to 21 year old Brit Jordan Jacobs. He went to a beach party on Phi Phi island (which gets more British visitors than Blackpool) and then did not phone his mummy for three whole days. Naturally the Daily Mail and the entire British Facebook community were at their wit's end. The Thai police had to go look for him and found him chilling out somewhere. Old enough to join the British army and go to kill people in Afghanistan, but not old enough to go to a beach party in Thailand.
One thing we can look forward to in the New Year: Jonathan Dickhead will have to step down as FCCT President. I'll drink to that.
Festive season again. Crutchley going on about Jigger Ben and all the happy times he's had.
I remember the good old days when Santa was a narcotics cop called Popeye Doyle who would put you up against the wall and beat the Christmas out of you.
Come to think of it that guy from Warwick might have been concerned about the new law banning sales of alcohol within 300 metres of a University. There are lots of bars on Warwick University campus, so no doubt he was missing the cheap beer at the students union. "Support the right to drink on campus" I can get behind that.
Heard a good one down at the Drippy Doolins Bar last night:
Question "What is the difference between the BBC and a Goldman Sachs press release?"
I've forgotten the answer, maybe there isn't one. I have to lay down now. I'll check the wire later.
I managed to get back into the FCCT by disguising myself as a reporter. Some prat, from the University of Warwick (where ever that is) was complaining about the military. Apparently the Universities are no longer free to hand out degrees to politicians who have never read a book or set foot on a University campus.
I got really plastered at the Drippy Doolins Bar last night. I'll have to stop going to these ladyboy bars - they are just a pain in the ass. I'll check the wire later.
Got drunk at the Foreign Correspondents' Club last night and punched Jonathan Dickhead on the nose. I supposed I'll get banned again.
I woke up in Lumpini Park this morning. No idea how I got there. I'll check the wire later.