Dear Dr Shipman, My name is Francois Allround and I am the most important person in France, my job is to defend France from invasion by the Assyrians. But I am short and bald so Americans always look down on me and tell me what to do. What can be done?
Dear Francois, you are, what we in the medical profession call, "a runt". A scalp transplant might solve the hair problem and a week on the rack would give you an extra couple of inches. However, even if you were six foot six with a great head of hair, the Americans would still look down on you and order you about. I'm afraid the only medical solution for a spineless runt like yourself is a lethal injection.