It was in May that a Private Tye exclusive revealed that Donald Trump was the reincarnation of the Hindu monkey god “Hanuman”. At that time everybody laughed. Now, with massive Hindu support, Hanuman/Trump is close to election victory. From all over the world, including Thailand, Hindus have come out in support of Trump.
Like the chariots of Puri, the Hanuman/Trump machine rolls inexorably onwards. Gala Hindu concerts, Bollyood film stars and dancers have all been organized in support of Trump. There have even been reports of devotees throwing themselves under the wheels of the Trump campaign bus.
In an earlier report, Private Tye suggested that Hilary Clinton might be a reincarnation of the Hindu god Kali, this was a mistake. She is, of course, a medieval Harpy. Harpy Clinton has no connection to Hinduism.
In other news, the health of both candidates remains in question. Private Tye has evidence that both Hanuman Trump and Harpy Clinton consulted Dr Harold Shipman who is Britain's foremost expert on psychopaths.